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Sporgy VI Las Vegas Trip Report October
6-11, 2005
Sporgy VI Photos
Participants: Philster, Shoes and Elder Shoes, Angry Johnny, Caveman
Joe and
his dad, JRobi Hab, Dickster, Jimbo and yours truly.
Background:
Our first trip was an impromptu get together at the Golden Nugget. We named
the trip "Bloody Sunday" after the infamous Indianapolis Colts-Chicago Bears
game that my buddy Joe said "was a sure thing". He went out to prove his
conviction to us by placing multiple 110 bets on the game all through the
weekend and all the way up until game time. After witnessing this, the rest
of us lemmings all followed him off the cliff. After the first quarter we
knew we were done for. The day before, Joe had taken a tremendous hit in the
"high roller area" at the Golden Nugget. He had hoped that "the sure thing"
would erase at least part of that evisceration. The weekend was tagged
"Bloody Sunday" by me.
The term Bloody Sunday was then replaced by "Sporgy" (a sports orgy) after
the second trip, exactly one year later. That year featured yet another come
from behind victory by Da Bears over the Cleveland Browns. It was almost an
exact carbon copy of the previous week's victory over the 49ers with an
interception return for a touchdown by Mike Brown in overtime. What made it
sweet was that the Bears were 5 ½ point favorites at the time. A touchdown
was the only way to win for us. That game, along with the Arizona
Diamondbacks' victory over the Yankees capped off an incredible 13 hour
marathon orgy of watching and betting sports that netted us a lot in terms
of winnings.
We decided to make an annual event out of it, usually around the second or
third weekend in October. This is done partly for the weather and partly
because we can combine NCAA football, NFL football and the MLB playoffs into
one giant weekend of sports wagering.
This year marked our sixth trip out. Three of our regulars could not make it
this year as each had recent additions to their respective families and were
not able to secure a yard pass for the trip. They vow to make it out for
Sporgy VI.
Trip Preparations:
For complete Sporgy VI preparation details, click here.
While the weather in Las Vegas is almost perfect during this time of year
for us Northern Hogs, it also is a terrible time to go if you are looking
for value from your accommodations. There usually is a major convention in
town that pushes the prices of even mid level hotels to abnormally high
levels. This year was no exception.
We always like to stay at a different hotel on every trip. Once again, Joe
and I lobbied hard for the Imperial Palace, but once again were overruled by
JRobi and Angry Johnny who consider IP to be a "dump". Joe had suggested
that we stay downtown because our buddy Rich has yet to see downtown. Funny,
but Rich has been with us for a few of these things, but we never manage to
make the trip downtown. I guess the only way he'd see any of it is to stay
there.
After working through Travelaxe, I found the only alternative for us would
be the Plaza. I haven't set foot in the Plaza for quite some time, but I
heard Barrick Gaming had bought the hotel along with the Las Vegas Club and
the Gold Spike. I do know that Barrick has spent some money on marketing
their properties with updates on their websites and developing cutesy logos,
but I wasn't sure if any of that cash was being poured into the properties
themselves. What I did know is that the Plaza fulfilled a number of our
requirements:
- It was downtown
- It was cheap (relatively speaking)
- It has a poker room
- It had a pool
- It wasn't the Gold Spike
I found rooms for the five nights for 343 dollars, including taxes and
fees via Travelaxe. Thought to check the hotel's website and found a similar
deal and booked rooms through them. It's always a better idea to book
directly through the hotel if you can. I decided to order up a deluxe room
for Philster and myself. I'd rather spend the money for the upgrade, and for
what amounted to 20 dollars a night, I thought that would be money well
spent.
I was able to book a 178 dollar round trip flight out of Chicago O'Hare on
American. I found this fare using Side Step. Yes, Side Step is spyware, but if it
finds me fares like this, I don't really care too much. Angry Johnny's fare
via Northwest from Grand Rapids via Minneapolis was over 300 dollars. The Detroit
contingent flew via Spirit for around 200 dollars, while Joe found a flight
on American our of Dallas for less than 200 dollars.
Remembering the
incredibly long taxi line from last year's Sporgy, I decided to bypass
all of that by booking a Limousine from
Ambassador Limousine.
I'm not a fan of standing in line for an hour for a 25 dollar cab ride
and I didn't want to get stuck being the last stop on a Bell's
Shuttle, so the 60 dollar limo seemed like a good deal for us
considering we had five guys coming in from Chicago anyway.
Flight IN/Flight OUT
Both our incoming and outgoing flights were on time. The flight home
was actually 20 minutes early due to the significant tail winds.
Security at O'Hare seems to take longer than it did just a year ago.
I've flown about a half dozen times this year and have had to set
aside at least 15 minutes for security. At McCarran the line always
seems like a mess, but it's actually well organized and moves pretty
quickly. We also do the smart thing and come home on Tuesday. I'd
imagine security would be a mess on the Sunday flight home.
Accommodations:
The Plaza is a dump, no doubt about it. Hard to believe, but Johnny
has softened his stance on the IP after staying here. Barrick did put
new carpeting in the casino, but like a lot of things in the hotel, is
already showing signs of wear and tear. The sportsbook here is pretty
nice with ten very large flat screen TVs and tiered seating. But the
couches and chairs are old and filthy. Sitting in one of the chairs
for a few hours is a painful reminder of how old and rickety our
bodies are. We sounded like a bunch of old men complaining about our
backs. A real plus at the sportsbook is
Lisa, a long lanky busty blond
in a referee outfit that was unzipped about halfway down her
hopelessly enhanced chest. JRobi thought she was a heroin addict or an
anorexic. Joe coined her T*ts On A Stick, but it turned out that she
was a very personable and efficient waitress. She was a Penn State
graduate (I believe everybody) and convinced yours truly to avoid
Joe's suggestion that we bet on Ohio State (OSU played PSU at Happy
Valley Saturday evening).
The downside to the sports book is that the deli, although relatively
close serves awful food. The hot dogs are atrocious and the corned beef
sandwich is about as fatty and tasteless as it gets. Thank God for mustard.
The other problem is that there is one bathroom in the casino, and it's a
little bit of a walk from the book. After loading up on Guinness, I realized
you only rent beer and made quite a few trips to this disgusting restroom.
There were six urinals and as the trip wore on there was a war of attrition
as to the availability of said urinals. Every day I walked into the
restroom, there was another plastic bag over the urinals with a sign "Do Not
Use" from the "Engineering Department" at the Plaza. Seems like the only
thing the "Engineering Department" could do was put a sign over the urinals
and cover them with a plastic bag. The weirdest thing though was the "wash
table" in the middle of the bathroom. The soap dispensers were bolted on to
the counter top. The bolts and the holders were all rusted through. The
sinks kept backing up "texas tea" like a Beverly Hillbillies intro.
I stayed with Philster in room 817 in the North Tower which offered us a good view of the
Union Pacific railroad tracks running behind the hotel. Remember, I upgraded
when I booked the room. From the looks of my buddies' rooms, the only
real upgrade here was a decent sized refrigerator. The bathtub and toilet
are separate from the sink and both occupy cramped quarters. The sink shares
space with the closet and is carpeted which is weird. I made the mistake of
shaving while Philster showered. He couldn't get any cold water and he
angrily announced that we had better switch rooms after his "scalding". I
checked and found cold water in the shower. Philster thought I thought he
was crazy. But then it dawned on me that I was using the sink while he was
showering and we were staying in a dump.
Barrick Gaming provides you with a "traveler's kit" with a razor,
toothpaste and sewing kit along with lotions, shampoo and conditioner. The
rest of the room is fairly large with a small table and chairs. It is sparsely
appointed with a chest of drawers and armoire with a small television that
gets about 6 channels. The view is pretty crappy. It overlooks the Union
Pacific freight line although the trains zooming past didn't seem to bother us
all that much. The carpeting is old and dirty. The hallways need revamping
with chipped molding everywhere and an awful smell emanating (we thought) from
the ice machine down the hall. Elevator service was pretty snappy.
FOOD:
On a Sporgy, there usually is very little thought about food and dinner
options.
777 Brew Pub: Was so good, that we ate here twice. I recommend the
seasonal "Black Cherry Stout". You either love or hate dark beers, and if
you are a lover of the stout, you will go ape over this wonderfully rich
tasting brew. We ordered everything from meatloaf to Mahi-Mahi, wings to
burgers, calimari to wild mushroom pizza. Everything was delicious and best
of all, it didn't break the bank. We had six guys the first night there and
would up paying just under 100 dollars with tax and tip included. The Triple
7 is located in the Main Street Station.
Golden Nugget Buffet: A lot of people swear by this buffet, but I
find it to be average at best. At 7.99, it's not outrageously priced and
they do have decent Eggs Benedict, which for a buffet is saying something.
Overall, the food is decent, but it *is* a buffet.
Paradise Buffet: At the Fremont has really gone downhill. The
surroundings are pleasant enough though. As Joe always likes to say, you
can't screw up bacon, but like the Sahara buffet last year, this one did.
The eggs were awful, but the worst was the breakfast sausage. Yikes. There
really wasn't anything special on this buffet either. The line for the
omelets was pretty long. At 5.79, I thought it was overpriced.
Food Court at Venetian: Enzo's, the pizza place served up a pizza to
die for. The Sicilian pizza with tomatoes and garlic was a square pizza and
it looked fresh and delicious. It was! The crust was perfect and it was
loaded with tomato and garlic flavor along with fresh basil. Very yummy. It
looked much better than their other offerings like the standard sausage or
pepperoni which all looked dry and cardboard like. I was happy with my
choice.
Sportsbook Deli: At the Plaza. Just a horrible place to eat.
Disgusting hot dogs and awful corned beef sandwiches all served by a
disinterested server. Avoid at all costs.
Diner: At the Plaza. You
walk in, order your food and sit down. The server places a number at
your table and then brings out the food later. Hard to believe a ham
and cheese omelet could taste this bad, but it did. Greasy hash browns
and a biscuit that I wouldn't touch all for just 6.99.
Things we should have ate: Andrew in Alabama has a nice little
tour of downtown eating delights. I printed out his post and took it
with me, but alas, we never got around to this listing of downtown
delights: Appetizers:
Shrimp cocktail at GG snack bar
Spam Misubi and Kim Chee at Aloha Specialties (Cal)
Entree:
Oriental combo soup at Cal (Oxtail soup may be substituted)
Dessert:
Fried twinkie from LeBayou.
This will be well under $20 per person.
Entertainment:
Nudie Bars: We were originally supposed to stop by the
Freakin Frog and catch "The Pickadillos" there on their usual Thursday
night gig. However, they had to cancel this particular week because of
prior commitments. This left us with our usual option of heading to
what Philster calls the "ballet", but it's actually a night out at a
Gentleman's Club of Philster's choice. Personally, I would have rather
seen a Mutant Bluegrass Band that rocks then one of our 20 dollar
"ballerinas", but such is life. We decided to check out "Sapphires",
which bills itself as the "world's largest" gentleman's club. We had
wanted to get there last year after Monday Night Football, but our
sports bets sapped us of our entertainment dollars. The Pakistani cab
driver confirmed that Sapphires is the best nudie bar around. He used
a derogatory term for dancers that didn't resemble ballerina at all,
but I'll substitute Phil's term for his. He said "there were so many
fine ballerinas there that you don't know which ballerina you'd want
to sit on your face first".
Ringing endorsements from Las Vegas cab drivers don't make me
feel confident of our entertainment choices. Anyway, the
advertisement that Sapphires was the "World's Largest" was certainly
not an exaggeration. It sure was the biggest and fanciest nudie bar
I've ever been in. There was marble everywhere in the lobby. The
girls were on Plexiglas catwalks suspended high above the patrons.
There were two large stages with poles and there were actually girls
who knew what they were doing on the poles for once. There were
plenty of gorgeous ladies, but they were almost too gorgeous for us.
Very few of them were hopelessly enhanced. While we enjoyed
ourselves and the surroundings, we saved a lot of our
LDE's for next year.
Our trip to Olympic Garden last year wasn't up to snuff, but we
still prefer OG to the hustle from the ballerinas here at Sapphire.
Mystere:
I've seen Mystere 3 times and when JRobi suggested
seeing it to "add some culture" to Sporgy, I passed in favor of
watching the baseball game. AJ, Shoes, Elder Shoes and Philster went
though. I was surprised about Philster going. He's not big on shows
and being a French hater, seeing him watch a Cirque show would have
been entertaining. Personally, I have nothing but praise for this
production, but the boys seemed unimpressed. When quizzed about the
show Philster predictably sneered and did a neat imitation of the
Cirque clown in diapers: "PA-PA" (along with one of the most
disdainful looks he could muster) "where's my hundred bucks?"
Gaming:
Blackjack at the Plaza is very player friendly. Most of the tables
offer two deck, stand on soft 17, RSA x 4. Don't know about surrender,
because, quite frankly, I forget to utilize the option and did so on
this trip. My bad. I did fairly well on Blackjack except for my last
night when a dealer there by the name of Edgar was smoking hot. After
finishing me off Monday night he told me "it's just not your lucky
night". He was the master of the understatement.
On the plus side, I did wind up ahead on BJ for the trip and I
also got to gamble at a table filled with rejects from a Jerry
Springer show. There were two deaf mutes who I originally thought
were mimes sitting at the table. They sort of aggravated me because
they were sitting across from each other and were VERY demonstrative
for deaf-mutes.
Joining us was a guy from Montana who could have easily passed
for Theodore Kaczynski's youngest son. A scary looking and scary
sounding dude. He had driven in from Montana with his pregnant wife,
his daughter and his two *illegitimate* daughters. Here it was 3am
on Monday and he was down to "his last 250 dollars". Mixed into this
crew was a young couple from LA that kept digging in to their
wallets for crumpled up 5 and 20 dollar bills. They were going home
that morning and were going to stay up all night and win thousands
of dollars before driving home.
After getting my ass spanked by Edgar sitting with seasoned
players, this group wasn't offering me much hope. They were the
worst blackjack players I had ever seen assembled on one table. The
worst thing was the lack of consistency. They'd hit on 14 versus a
5, but then not against a 6. Ted's son would stay on soft 13 and
proclaim "better to be a winner, than a sinner". I thought that
maybe their poor play would make me a winner, but it didn't, so I
guess I'm a sinner. The other thing that made me nervous was
that Ted's son might pull out a gun and shoot me if I had dared "take
that bust card" from the dealer while hitting that 16 versus a 10.
Things started getting surreal when Ted's son appeared to take a
hit on 14 versus a 5 (funny how often that came up). His "last 250
dollars" was beginning to wane seriously at the point and he blew up
at the dealer when he busted. "I said I wanted to stay" he cried. He
had not given "the wave" or openly declared "stay". Instead he had
rapped his knuckles on the table when he declared "14 against a 5".
Since he wasn't consistent with his play and he rapped his knuckles
the dealer hit him with a face card. The pit boss along with
security were soon at our table, but Ted's son got his composure and
apologized. But not long after you could see the volcano start to
brew again. "That's just wrong" he said to me. "Didn't I give a
clear signal?" he asked me. I was thinking about pretending to be
the deaf-mutes' buddy at this point when the bigger deaf-mute
sitting next to him put his arm around him to console him. "Get away
from you big faggot!" he yelled. Security came over right away and
in the commotion, I picked up my chips and got the hell away from
there. Have to admit it was pretty entertaining.
Craps at the Plaza is a good game as well. They allow 10x odds
which I didn't take advantage of either. Shoes loves the game and we
played awhile after our disastrous Sunday playing the NFL and came
away winners. There were a couple of hot rollers on the table, and
even I managed to make a point or two (which doesn't happen often).
Sports books and Sports Wagering:
Plaza: If you sit in a
chair, it's uncomfortable, but the couches in the back row are better.
They are just as filthy but at least they don't kill your back.
Security comes through often asking for either room keys or betting
tickets. It's a good thing too as the homeless do tend to camp out
here and the book does get crowded toward the afternoon. We did
extremely well on the baseball bets. We took advantage of the fact
that "East Coast" money was streaming in on the Yankees and Red Sox.
Both times we took advantage of positive money on the White Sox and
Angels. Friday, I wagered 200 to win 310 on the White Sox. There were
a lot of disappointed Red Sox fans and it seemed like we were the only
ones betting on the pale hose. I'm not a big fan of the hometown White
Sox, but I had to admit they were a much more talented team,
especially on the pitching and defense side of the ledger. I
especially enjoyed making money on the Red Sox fans' belief that it
was inevitable that the Red Sox would stage a comeback in this series.
The Angels were an even bigger positive play. At plus 235 we couldn't
pass it up, even though the game was at Yankee Stadium. Joe feels that
playoff baseball is a 50-50 proposition, or at the very least 55-45.
Winning 2.35 for each one dollar bet is nuts, so we had to take it. I
netted nearly 800 dollars on those two bets on Friday. I thought that
this was a great sign.
I had posted Joe's picks for College Football on AVLV hoping to
get feedback from some seasoned pros. Luckily I got some insight to
a game that I'm just not familiar with anymore. Joe's first pick was
Texas Tech large against Nebraska. He had already bet 500 at an
off-shore casino, and placed another 300 at the Plaza's sports book.
"Nebraska sucks" Joe said. "They barely beat a Dave Wannstadt
coached team and lost to Texas Tech by 60 last year". "Dis is a sure
thing". I have heard Joe talk like this before. Why did I wager on
Tech? To be honest, Joe's suggestion that Penn State was overrated
and listing OSU as a "large pick" scared me off a bit. I hate OSU's
offensive philosophy. Luckily, our waitress Lisa and some well read
AVLVers discouraged my pick here. I let Joe sink on his own. I also
avoided picking Tennessee against Georgia. Joe has a pet name for Phil
Fulmer (Dat Fat Fuck) and I couldn't understand how he could bet with
"DFF" here.
I did follow Joe's advice on Texas which was good, but I got
creamed with the Wisconsin pick against my better judgment. I was
all set to even pick NU on the money line, but Joe convinced me to
go with the Badgers at breakfast Saturday morning. I didn't follow
Joe on any of his other picks, but needless to say, he had a tough
day.
On Sunday night we completed a string of 8 straight losing
football bets on the Cincinnati Bengals. Oh the pain! It didn't get
better as we bet against "The Chin" and his Pittsburgh Steelers.
Ouch!
Venetian: We still love the
Venetian sports book on Sunday. Joe
calls it the "cathedral". It's not the biggest, but we love the
pampering we get from Connie our gorgeous waitress in the book. She
always seems to have a slight wardrobe malfunction around half-time
which is always a bonus. And with Connie being as efficient as she
can in those high heels, you are never asking the famous question
"where's the waitress?" You always have a fresh cocktail if you so
desire. The one quibble is that the secret is out. We've had to get
their earlier and earlier every year. This year, we were forced to
sit "stage right" instead of our favored position in the middle of
the book. It did get really crowded and every time you got up to
take a whizz, some dope would try to take your seat. Angry Johnny
was incredulous. "What kind of schmuck shows up to the sports book
at 2:00 and expects to sit down?"
It turns out, Joe's pro picks
were worse than his college picks. We bet on the beloved Bears and
lost. We bet on the Eagles and lost. We bet against the Lions and
lost. Thank the lord we avoided betting against the Packers. We
convinced Joe that Brett Favre is Jesus, especially on Sunday. We had
bet against him for 5 straight Sporgies and lost each time. Especially
since there were a bunch of "cheese heads" sitting in front of us.
Nothing worse than a Packer fan when you are losing money on their
team.
Final Thoughts:
Thank God for the White Sox and the Angels. Thank God for the tables,
otherwise this trip would have been a gaming disaster. Counting meals
and incidentals, I went home with 300 dollars less than what I came
with. It could have been a helluva lot worse.
On the way back from the Venetian, we decided to walk over to Wynn and
look around. I was pretty disappointed with the place. For his money,
Bellagio just seems more impressive. This place looks like a guy with
bad taste trying to make everyone think he has good taste and ran out
of money half-way there. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly nice
enough, but I just don't think it made as much of an impression as the
Mirage or Bellagio did when they opened. I guess the bar has been
raised sufficiently so that everything new is a big yawn.
We had our "board meeting" sucking down Tecate and
Heineken at
the
Plaza's pool area. Sheesh! WHAT *has* Barrick done to upgrade
the Plaza? Half of the outdoor carpeting was in tatters. The tennis
courts looked to be freshly painted though. Anyway, you can't beat 8
beers for 10 bucks at the snack shop. We decided never to stay at
the Plaza again and that our only serious choices downtown remain
Main Street Station and Golden Nugget. After intense debate, we
decided that our choices for next year's Sporgy will be either
Hooters, Aladdin or Monte Carlo, depending on price. The date has
also been set for October 6th.
At least we have something to look forward to!
Sporgy VI Photos
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